The Loneliness of Leadership: Why No One Talks About It, But Most People Feel It
Behind every high-stakes boardroom decision, confident pitch, and headline about funding success is a truth many entrepreneurs and leaders carry quietly: it’s lonely at the top.
While leadership is often seen as the pinnacle of success, it comes with emotional costs that are too often ignored. In a 2023 study by Harvard Business Review, 61% of leaders reported feeling lonely in their roles, and 70% said that loneliness negatively impacted their ability to make decisions and perform.¹
The problem intensifies in the startup and entrepreneurial space. According to the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA), 62% of entrepreneurs feel depressed at least once a week, and 46% say mental health challenges interfere with their ability to work.
What’s striking is how few talk about it—until they burn out, break down, or step away entirely.
Why Leadership Is Often So Isolating
Leadership loneliness isn’t just emotional—it’s structural.
1. You’re expected to have the answers.
When you’re the decision-maker, people look to you for certainty. Even when you’re unsure, the pressure to appear composed and decisive is relentless.
“I couldn’t tell my team how overwhelmed I was. They needed me to lead with confidence—so I faked it.”
— Founder, Series A SaaS company
2. You can’t always share what's really going on.
Who do you turn to when you’re struggling? Employees may worry. Investors might lose confidence. Co-founders might be struggling too. What’s left is a filtered version of the truth—internally and externally.
3. The higher you rise, the fewer your peers.
Early in your career, peer support is plentiful. But as you move up, your network narrows. Fewer people can relate to your unique pressures. Fewer people check in on you.
4. Success isolates in unexpected ways.
Paradoxically, the more successful you become, the harder it can be to admit struggle. With perceived status comes an unspoken pressure to "have it all together." But behind closed doors, many leaders feel detached, anxious, or emotionally depleted.
What Loneliness Looks Like in Real Life
Leadership loneliness doesn’t always look like sadness. It shows up as:
Struggling to celebrate wins
Over-functioning: constantly “doing” to avoid sitting with discomfort
Avoiding difficult conversations to maintain image or control
Feeling emotionally unavailable—at home and at work
Staying in “leader mode” so long that you forget how to be human
And when loneliness is chronic, it can lead to emotional fatigue, disconnection, and even physical health problems.
What Can Help: 4 Powerful Tools
You don’t need to solve this alone. Here are four things that can make a real difference:
1. Build Your Inner Circle
Every leader needs a confidential space to be honest—free from judgment or consequence. That could mean a therapist, coach, or peer group. Examples include Communitech’s Fierce Founders Uplift, Venture Mentoring Services of Alberta, and Platform Calgary’s Peer-to-Peer program. These safe containers allow you to decompress, reflect, and reconnect with your deeper sense of self.
Entrepreneurs who receive regular professional support report better decision-making, stronger team communication, and increased resilience.
2. Redefine Strength
Let go of the myth that strong leaders are always composed. Real strength is the capacity to stay connected to yourself while navigating challenges. It’s saying, “I don’t have all the answers—and I’m working on it.”
You don’t inspire others by being untouchable. You inspire them by being real.
3. Normalize Vulnerability at the Top
The best leaders create cultures where people can tell the truth. And that starts with the leader. You don’t need to overshare—but opening up about what you’re learning or what you’re working through signals to your team that honesty is safe here.
Brené Brown puts it best: “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.”
4. Invest in Your Mental Health
Leadership is emotional labour. You’re holding vision, risk, relationships, and performance—all at once. Mental health care, including therapy, isn’t indulgent—it’s infrastructure. When you’re steady, your team is stronger too.
A Culture Shift That’s Long Overdue
We praise entrepreneurs and leaders for their grit, hustle, and ambition. But what about their emotional lives? Their self-doubt? Their exhaustion?
To build companies that last, we need leaders who are resourced, supported, and human—not just heroic.
So if leadership feels lonely right now, know this:
You’re not the only one.
And you don’t have to do this alone.
Sources:
Harvard Business Review, “The Loneliness of Leadership,” 2023
Canadian Mental Health Association, “Going it Alone: The Mental Health and Well-being of Canada’s Entrepreneurs,” 2019
BDC, “Well-being in the Workplace: A Key to Business Success,” 2023
